Progressive Diary: The Musings of Sebastian Van Der Douche, Harvard ‘08
March 25th 2010
Dear Diary,
It has been a most eventful past few days. With the passage of Health Care I have no doubt that the plebes will finally acknowledge what we progressives have always known; that President Obama has already solidified his place as America’s greatest President.
For a moment there I was scared that the right-wing America haters would get there way and use the legislative process to deny us the victory we so rightly deserved. I mean really, how dare they use something as insignificant as votes to block the bill? It should have been done with Deem and Pass. Our health care is more important than the mere niceties of congressional procedure. The-worse-than- Hitler Republicans should be ashamed of themselves for bringing up the Constitution during the “debate” over the bill. The Constitution has no place in the discussion when it comes to progress and, better yet, there shouldn’t even be a debate. The Founding Fathers, though handicapped by their racist white outlooks, also would have seen the need to push health care through no matter the opposition. Somethings are more important than some 18th century scrap of paper.
Why even bother with open hearings or debates at all? The American people are too stupid and feckless to grasp the basic tenant that they need to be forced into health care. They embarrass themselves with all this talk of “what they want” and their pathetic protests and letters to Congress. They should just shut up and let the people that know best, we enlightened few, we band of brothers with Ivy League degrees, handle things. Like children, they know not what they do and must be put in their place. They don’t know what they want and they don’t know what is best for them. People like Speaker Pelosi need not answer to that shabby and dirty rabble.
Thanks to Republican run education systems in places like Texas, I bet they can’t even read much less articulate a real argument. “Privacy!” “States rights!” “Democratic process!” HA! It makes me laugh, it is like a five year old trying to understand Shakespeare and playing at adults with big boy words! Why do they hate America? Don’ they see they need to be forced to get healthcare? It will run down the deficit too (though I am not quite sure how, I am good with numbers but how does spending a trillion dollars lower the deficit? Why not just tax the shit out of fat-cats making over $30,000 a year?).
President Obama should do us all a favor and fence off everything between the Mississippi and California. Those so-called states resemble more of a third-world loony bin than the US. With their guns and superstitions as well as their racist, sexist and homophobic outlooks, those people belong more to a bad western than the modern era. They even like Sarah Palin! Ha! She doesn’t have a real degree (a “BA” from the “University” of Idaho….how droll!) How could they be so stupid!?!
Thank goodness though. Thank goodness our beloved leader, our Great One, our Dear One, had the courage to do whatever it necessary to pass the bill. He is from Chicago and you can tell! They have it right, they know that important things need to be passed and that the law shouldn’t get in the way. Giving dissenting pieces of shit whatever they wanted in pork for their districts was an inspired tactic! Our beloved President’s bold leadership saved the say from the stupid filthy masses!
It is a great day to be an American. I thought I would never see the day when the Democrats would finally get the courage to do whats right and put to bed silly notions of “Constitutionality” that stand in the way of whats best for America. We finally have a leader that will do whatever it takes to transform this nation into a real, modern social democracy! We will no longer have to be ashamed of America and lower our eyes when the French or Germans talk about the glories of cradle-to-grave government protection.
I have to run, first I have to pick up my check from McDonalds, then clean out my room at home (Mom is on me again) and then I have brie and wine with Jenny Williams-Anthony-Cohen and her life partner * Copeckny-Liter-Jones at the independent bookstore. Its poetry night! I hope my “Ode to Our Beloved One” is as well received as “Texas is Full of Stupid Rednecks and Racists.”
-SVD
Berkeley, CA
What Is In a Word: Obama and the V-Word
One of my favorite heroes of the Second World War was Winston Churchill. Any British school child could tell you that Churchill faced the nearly impossible task of keeping the morale of his people high in a time of great privation. England alone stood against Germany and was rewarded by daily and nightly air raids. Everywhere he went the often grumpy, embattled, and always witty (and not sober) Prime Minister gave hope to his battered and bombed-out people by the mere act of holding up his right hand, palm out, index and middle fingers spread apart signifying a V; a V for Victory. This simple act bespoke a truth that every war-weary Brit knew to his core. Ole Winnie would never, ever, settle for anything less than total Victory over a hated and tyrannical foe. Churchill’s simple act of defiance against the all-powerful field-grey legions of Hitler’s Wehrmacht gave reason for the conquered peoples of Europe to continue the fight against the Nazi invader. Resistance groups across the Continent splashed alley walls and city squares with giant painted Vs. V became more than a letter, it became a promise that one day Europe would once again breathe the fresh air of freedom that an Allied Victory would bring.
Flash forward more than 60 years later. America finds itself at war with a foe just as tyrannical and vile as the Nazis. Like the generation that has been labeled the “greatest,” the youth of today have also sent many of their best and brightest to fight in the wastes of Iraq and the forbidding mountains of Afghanistan. Like our illustrious predecessors, we too have endured death and lamented the loss of many brilliant, beautiful and promising young lives. But unlike the struggle 60 years hence, America is divided in its counsel, and, I dare say, not committed to Victory; an omission that clouds the sacrifice of those who have fallen. Nothing manifests this truly tragic state of affairs than the actions of our putative Commander-in-Chief.
In his speech at West Point, President Obama promised to increase the number of US troops in Afghanistan by 30,000. He spoke at great length of the necessity of increasing the strength of the Afghan Army as well as holding Pakistan accountable for its lapses in judgment where the Taliban is concerned. Obama further outlined his disastrous decision to impose an impossible timeline for withdrawal of said US troops in what can only be considered an abject admission of the US’ lack of interest and commitment toward a successful conclusion to the fight in Afghanistan. Finally, Obama failed to mention, in his 4300 plus words, one: Victory.
Why is Victory important? How is it that a single word can change the entire complexion of a war involving hundreds of thousands? It is quite simple. Victory is a commitment to win. Victory is a covenant to put tyranny in its place. Victory gives comfort to those who have lost their loved ones and validates the ultimate sacrifice that so many willingly undertook. Victory sends a message to our friends and foes alike that we are in the fight to the end and that we will stop at nothing. Anything less is a stab in the back of those in the armed forces fighting, and dying, to bring this war to a successful conclusion.
One marvels at the absurdity of a war-time president that is not committed to Victory. After all, who gets in a fight to lose? No doubt defenders of the President will be quick to point out that he did not get us into Afghanistan, nor did he mismanage the war prior to his election in 2008. What those people fail to realize is that it IS Obama’s responsibility to finish the fight and to secure a successful, and Victorious conclusion. As the Dear One pointed out in his historic run for president, “Afghanistan is a war of necessity.” I would think, by implication, that wars of “necessity” should generally be wars that are won and not cast aside when they become politically inconvenient (say, for example, in late 2011 prior to his re-election bid…).
Can real Victory be achieved in Afghanistan? Certainly “winning” in the Kush is not the signing of a surrender document on the deck of a battleship, nor is it a negotiated armistice in Paris. In the War on Terror there are no armies to crush or a capital to take. As such, we need to s trive for a species of Victory. What we can expect is an Afghanistan where the people are allowed to choose their destinies without the interference of tyrants and where the Taliban and Al Qaeda are broken, discredited and irrelevant entities. Any species of Victory is far more preferable to no Victory at all.
So on one hand we have a leader who despises the word Victory and on the other the man who imposes a ludicrous timeline on a surge to nowhere. Are these the actions of a man, and a government, that is committed to winning? Or are they the actions of a man attempting to placate both the anti-war wing of his party and those who still believe that the US must, by necessity, win this war?
What contempt does history have for those peoples who deign to defend themselves? What disdain will future generations of Americans have for us when they read our chapter in their history books? Those who fight wars to lose, by implication abdicating all responsibility of their own defense, deserve to be relegated to the scrap heap of history.
In the end it boils down to a single word. Some, mostly those who have never sacrificed one iota for this nation, dismiss Obama’s glaring omission by claiming that the word Victory in itself is unimportant, nothing more than a jingoistic expression of the prior imperialistic and chauvinistic administration. I think Winston Churchill and hundreds of millions of free people in Europe, to say nothing of posterity, would humbly and forcefully disagree.
Video: UPS vs. FEDEX: Ultimate Whiteboard Remix
Here is a great video from the creative geniuses at Reason TV.
You may have heard the UPS is in quite the political fight with FEDEX. Though both are package-delivery companies, they’re governed by totally different federal labor rules. As a result, UPS’s workforce is much more heavily unionized than FEDEX’s—and more than twice as expensive.
So now UPS is trying to get FEDEX reclassified under federal law as a way of screwing a competitor. That’s horrendous, but it also makes a sick kind of business sense. And it also reveals the real villain: A government that is big enough to absolutely, positively guarantee it can screw any business. Overnight.
“UPS Vs. FEDEX” was produced by Meredith Bragg and Nick Gillespie (who also hosts). Approximately two minutes long.
This video is based on “Using Unions as Weapons,” by Mercatus Center economist Veronique de Rugy, which appeared in the October 2009 print edition of Reason. Read that article at http://reason.com/archives/2009/09/28…
For downloadable version of this and all other Reason.tv videos go to http://reason.tv
Marketing on the Bailout
Now this is a great way to play off of current events!
In this commercial, Dominos Pizza has used the bailouts and stimulus package to their advantage by poking fun at the process, and selling pizza at the same time.
This is definitely smart advertising.
Gun ownership could soon cost you $1million
Rep. Kenneth Dunkin (D-Chicago)
If you’re an Illinois resident, you didn’t read that wrong.
Should a bill that was recently introduced by State Representative Kenneth Dunkin, a Chicago Democrat, be passed, all gun owners in the state of Illinois would be required to maintain a liability insurance policy of at least $1,000,000.
Here is the synopsis of this ridiculous piece of legislation from the Illinois General Assembly website:
Amends the Firearm Owners Identification Card Act. Provides that any person who owns a firearm in this State shall maintain a policy of liability insurance in the amount of at least $1,000,000 specifically covering any damages resulting from negligent or willful acts involving the use of such firearm while it is owned by such person. Provides that a person shall be deemed the owner of a firearm after the firearm is lost or stolen until such loss or theft is reported to the police department or sheriff of the jurisdiction in which the owner resides. Provides that the Department of State Police shall revoke and seize a Firearm Owner’s Identification Card previously issued under this Act if the Department finds that the person to whom such card was issued possesses or acquires a firearm and does not submit evidence to the Department of State Police that he or she has been issued in his or her name a liability insurance policy in the amount of at least $1,000,000 specifically covering any damages resulting from negligent or willful acts involving the use of such firearm while it is owned by such person. Effective January 1, 2010.
While my first instinct is to say that it’s safe to assume that this bill will be killed by the Republicans in the legislature, this is Illinois, so you can never be too sure.