Random: Survival of the Fittest?

I’m sorry, but I have a hard time being compassionate for stupidity.

From CNN.com:

BERLIN, Germany (CNN) — A polar bear attacked a woman at Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon after she climbed a fence and jumped into its habitat during feeding time, police said Saturday.
The bear attacks the woman during feeding time at the zoo.

The bear attacks the woman during feeding time at the zoo.

One adult polar bit her several times after she plunged into the moat, police said.

Zoo workers tossed rescue rings toward the woman to hoist her out and distract polar bears swimming nearby, said Goerg Gebhard, a Berlin police officer.

“They saved her life,” Gebhard told CNN.

The woman was severely injured and was being treated at a hospital, police said.

It’s unclear why the woman entered the bear habitat, but police issued her a citation for trespassing.

While I’ve tried hard to figure this woman’s logic out, I can’t really come up with anything.

Regardless, this woman should definitely be nominated for a Darwin, or institutionalized.

250 Potheads, $1.2 million seized? Something sounds Phishy.

This is an interesting story that I came across on Reason.com (first reported on rawstory.com).

According to police officials in Hampton, VA, during the first set of shows for the Phish reunion concert, police claim to have arrested 250 concertgoers, collected $68,000 in cash, and recovered over $1.2 million in narcotics.

While I have no problem believing that police arrested 250 Phish fans and confiscated over $68k, I have an extremely hard time believing that 250 potheads could have $1.2 million of ganja… even at a Phish concert.

Lets do the math on this. If you have 250 people arrested, and $1.2 million worth of drugs are seized, that yields an average of $4,800 per person arrested. I’m sorry, but I’ve been to my share of Phish concerts, and I don’t see how it would be realistic for any person to have even $2,000 worth of any drug on them.

But this is where it gets even more interesting:

Hampton police made “81 Felony arrests and 113 Misdemeanor arrests for a total of 194,” stated an advisory. “There were 119 Felony charges and 126 Misdemeanor charges for a total of 245. A total of 46 criminal summonses were issued. A total street value of narcotics seized was $1,213,882.80.”

In the state of Virginia, possession isn’t a felony, regardless of the number of times you’re caught. In the case of the Phish concert, it seems likely that these felonies were all the result of selling, which in Virginia, only becomes a felony if you’re selling more than a half an ounce.

While I could create a variety of breakdown scenarios, I haven’t been able to come up with anything that would yield a net police seizure of $1.2million.

I’ll be interested to see the final police reports in more detail to see how far off these numbers actually are.

New Political Rapper: MC Tarp Fund?

This is probably the funniest video I’ve seen in awhile, regardless of the target. MC Tarp Fund definitely has some skills. I’m quite impressed.

Best line:

Get your story straight man and make it quick, your political capital fell faster than stocks in Reykjavik

I guess this is the power of the Stephen Colbert army. If you’re unsure what sparked this video, and a variety of other spoofs, here is the clip that started it all:

Louisiana woman trades kids for a cockatoo and $175, calls it “an even trade”

From MSNBC:

NEW ORLEANS – A Louisiana woman is accused of trading two young children in her care for a pet cockatoo and $175 cash from a couple who had been trying for years to have their own child, authorities said Thursday.

The transaction for the 5-year-old boy and the 4-year-old girl was negotiated by phone after Greenwell spotted a flier posted at a livestock barn selling a cockatoo for $1,500 and called the Romeros on Feb. 18, Dupre said.

When they told that to Greenwell, she allegedly offered to hand over the boy and girl for money. When the Romeros said they couldn’t meet the price, Dupre said, “Ms. Greenwell agreed to make an even trade: the bird for the kids.”

Greenwell showed up with the children at the Romeros’ home the next day and said she would also need $175 for an attorney to complete adoption paperwork, Dupre said. But she had no authority to put the children up for adoption.

Only in Louisiana…

If Rahm Emanuel and Josh Lyman Had a Love Child

This is pretty funny. I couldn’t figure out who he looked like, but now it’s so clear!