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Posted on Sep 11, 2008 in Campaign '08, Liberalism, Sex

Sarah Palin is Worse Than Hitler!!!

The Palin bashing by liberal media has hit a crescendo. Rather than listen to their lame excuses as to why they are committing character assassination (US Weekly says its article was fair, for reals!) let us take this travesty to its inevitable conclusion in declaring that SARAH PALIN IS WORSE THAN HITLER.

Now, meet the Palin family according to the Left.

Sarah Palin:

Sarah Palin is/was the mayor of a small redneck town in Alaska named Wasilla (Pop. 125 rednecks birthed by Bristol and 7500 moose). Apparently she is also Governor of Alaska and has spent her three days in office bilking the tax payers of money while staying at home. When she is not being a cocky wacko, Palin practices being a radical theocrat that makes Islamic Fundamentalists like freedom-fighter Osama Bin Laden exclaim “that bitch is out of control!” When not banning, or burning, books the former redneck beauty queen eats moose babies and tries to drown polar bears. She encourages Alaskan children to never have sex whilst covering up her teenage daughter‘s pregnancy; in fact it is possible that all five Palin children are actually Bristol‘s (including Bristol!). If elected as Vice-President, though her only qualification is not having an abortion (that we know of), she would force everyone in America to shoot all wildlife, attend her crazy nutty church and cover-up their daughters’ pregnancies while beating gays (while also pimping Track to gays to win votes) with banned books.

Todd Palin:

Todd Palin married Sarah Heath in 1988 and is possibly, maybe gay. Prior to marriage Todd drank heavily and raced snowmobiles drunk. Not too much is known about the “First Dude” beyond the fact he hates America and wants Alaska to secede from the Union presumably so he can spend Alaska’s vast oil wealth on platinum snowmobiles and “good“ beer like Miller.


         Matt Damon Describes the Anti-Christ Herself

Track Palin:

Track Palin is Governor Palin’s oldest possible child and like his father is also, possibly, maybe gay. Track is a Soldier in the US Army and was forced to enlist by a judge to atone for his notorious criminal record involving vandalism, theft and possibly genocide. During his high school years, Track was a notorious Oxycontin addict who was also addicted to cocaine, heroin, meth and possibly Chinese babies’ eyes.  According to a guy in Wasilla, Track was an unredeemable sex addict who had his way with every teenage girl (when not being gay apparently) in the Mat-Su Valley. When not involved in drug induced orgies, young Palin was being an animal on the ice (maybe why the girls like him?) and forcing the other boys to steal for him in order to fund his drug habits. Currently PFC Palin is assigned to the 1st Stryker Brigade, 25th Infantry Division, 52nd Infantry Regiment, 2nd Infantry Battalion, Delta Company, 2nd Platoon, 3rd Squad, Bravo team, second from the right. Palin can currently be found at grid coordinates LC 37068 00591 for the next 37 minutes.

Bristol Palin:

Bristol is the oldest possible daughter of Sarah and Todd Palin. She is currently pregnant with her second child after giving birth to her brother Trig in secret. According to a guy in Wasilla, Bristol is a major slut that makes out with all the boys and drinks and smokes drugs heavily. When not having unprotected sex with her redneck baby-daddy Levi Johnstone, a hockey goon, who can kick you ass,  Bristol is giving birth to secret babies.

Trig Palin:

Trig is the son of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnstone(?) and was given birth in secret while Sarah Palin faked her pregnancy. Trig has downs syndrome and is currently being used as a political tool by his grandmother.

Other Palin Children:
They are all little Eichmanns.

If one were to believe all this one would wonder how such a notorious family could escape jail or notice! The sad part is, as outrageous as the descriptions may be, I didn’t have to make any of it up! Hows that for taking the high road?