From CNN.com:

BERLIN, Germany (CNN) — A polar bear attacked a woman at Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon after she climbed a fence and jumped into its habitat during feeding time, police said Saturday.
The bear attacks the woman during feeding time at the zoo.

The bear attacks the woman during feeding time at the zoo.

One adult polar bit her several times after she plunged into the moat, police said.

Zoo workers tossed rescue rings toward the woman to hoist her out and distract polar bears swimming nearby, said Goerg Gebhard, a Berlin police officer.

“They saved her life,” Gebhard told CNN.

The woman was severely injured and was being treated at a hospital, police said.

It’s unclear why the woman entered the bear habitat, but police issued her a citation for trespassing.

While I’ve tried hard to figure this woman’s logic out, I can’t really come up with anything.

Regardless, this woman should definitely be nominated for a Darwin, or institutionalized.

According to police officials in Hampton, VA, during the first set of shows for the Phish reunion concert, police claim to have arrested 250 concertgoers, collected $68,000 in cash, and recovered over $1.2 million in narcotics.

While I have no problem believing that police arrested 250 Phish fans and confiscated over $68k, I have an extremely hard time believing that 250 potheads could have $1.2 million of ganja… even at a Phish concert.

Lets do the math on this. If you have 250 people arrested, and $1.2 million worth of drugs are seized, that yields an average of $4,800 per person arrested. I’m sorry, but I’ve been to my share of Phish concerts, and I don’t see how it would be realistic for any person to have even $2,000 worth of any drug on them.

But this is where it gets even more interesting:

Hampton police made “81 Felony arrests and 113 Misdemeanor arrests for a total of 194,” stated an advisory. “There were 119 Felony charges and 126 Misdemeanor charges for a total of 245. A total of 46 criminal summonses were issued. A total street value of narcotics seized was $1,213,882.80.”

In the state of Virginia, possession isn’t a felony, regardless of the number of times you’re caught. In the case of the Phish concert, it seems likely that these felonies were all the result of selling, which in Virginia, only becomes a felony if you’re selling more than a half an ounce.

While I could create a variety of breakdown scenarios, I haven’t been able to come up with anything that would yield a net police seizure of $1.2million.

I’ll be interested to see the final police reports in more detail to see how far off these numbers actually are.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Best line:

Get your story straight man and make it quick, your political capital fell faster than stocks in Reykjavik

I guess this is the power of the Stephen Colbert army. If you’re unsure what sparked this video, and a variety of other spoofs, here is the clip that started it all:

Click here to view the embedded video.

NEW ORLEANS – A Louisiana woman is accused of trading two young children in her care for a pet cockatoo and $175 cash from a couple who had been trying for years to have their own child, authorities said Thursday.

The transaction for the 5-year-old boy and the 4-year-old girl was negotiated by phone after Greenwell spotted a flier posted at a livestock barn selling a cockatoo for $1,500 and called the Romeros on Feb. 18, Dupre said.

When they told that to Greenwell, she allegedly offered to hand over the boy and girl for money. When the Romeros said they couldn’t meet the price, Dupre said, “Ms. Greenwell agreed to make an even trade: the bird for the kids.”

Greenwell showed up with the children at the Romeros’ home the next day and said she would also need $175 for an attorney to complete adoption paperwork, Dupre said. But she had no authority to put the children up for adoption.

Only in Louisiana…

I don’t think I’ve see anything like this before, but it’s not bad:

Click here to view the embedded video.

While this video is different, I have to say that it’s definitely catchy, memorable, and probably one of the better political web videos I’ve seen.

For more information on Charlie Wheelan, click here.

From Rides Magazine:

Were the t-shirt, button and decorative plate not enough for you? Well if you live in Illinois and operate a fully registered vehicle, now’s your chance to Ba-rock an official (albeit temporary) Obama license plate. Proceeds from the sale of the license plates (which can be purchased at the Chicago Auto Show this week) benefit the Illinois Library Association.

The tags are valid between February 17 and April 17, 2009. After that, expect to see them garnering even more change on ebay.

I guess the Volvo full of bumper stickers isn’t enough for some people.

Here is the video. You be the judge, is it too sexy?:

Click here to view the embedded video.

I’ve had a variety of opinions on this one, but after thinking about it for awhile, I’m set with the opinion that this ad is a bit over the top, even with every Super Bowl advertiser competing for the best ads. With that being said, I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen worse things than this on Saturday Night Live (also on NBC), but that’s amongst an audience that is expecting situations that are crude and/or questionable.

But let’s be realistic, I’m pretty sure that PETA knew this would happen in advance and are just milking (or soying?) the free media. Even though I wouldn’t call myself a PETA supporter, I think it’s a great marketing move.

Besides, if they really wanted to take things over the edge, they could have gotten even more creative with the vegetables.

Oh, ads like these:

‘Veggie Love’: PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad

and

‘Veggie Love’: PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad

and

‘Veggie Love’: PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad

and

‘Veggie Love’: PETA’s Banned Super Bowl Ad

Anyone think the right will ever have any organizations like this? I know they’ve had a great deal of success with this style of marketing with the Conservative Party in the UK, but I guess we’re too puritanical to try it here.

It was in this video that Manning provided all of us with one of the most memorable Obama accusations by  stating:

Obama is a mac daddy, Obama pimps black women and white women… you didn’t notice him till he brought out those big chested white women with their tight t-shirts and their short pants, that’s what a pimp does.

C’mon, you don’t get your campaign started with a big chested white woman, she must be a 54-D…. double D’s…. he put his name on two big 54-DD’s.

Obama… that’s the first place you saw it…. on two great big ole’ tits.

Anyway, Obama Girl (Amber Lee Ettinger) recently sat down with James Manning to discuss his claims:

Of all the things I’m going to miss from the 2008 campaigns, the top would have to be the great videos produced by Barely Political. Hopefully they’ll be able to keep producing new videos, even though political apathy is bound to set in after Barack Obama’s inauguration.

The two giants, Larry Flynt (of Hustler) and Joe Francis (of Girls Gone Wild), claim that they are worthy of TARP funds because their industry has suffered a hard blow, with DVD sales going down 22% during this past year.

From TMZ.com:

Francis sees his industry like the big three automakers, only BIGGER: “Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration.”

Francis says he’s going to D.C. to personally make the pitch. Sounds like someone has a bone to pick.

I think it’s safe to say that this is one money shot they probably wont get (though they might experience a surge in sales on a Member-by-Member basis), but it’s funny to see them try.

Though I must say, if the government ever decided to bail out this industry (which they obviously wont), you would see shares of Kleenex’s stock shoot through the roof.

While I don’t think that anyone is taking their efforts seriously, I think that it highlights the foolishness of these bailouts. I wouldn’t be shocked if there are dozens of other industries that have already sought their own bailouts, but haven’t made their way into the news.

Here is a great video that also highlights the foolishness of these bailouts, stimulus packages, etc:

Click here to view the embedded video.